once again...

...grounded. But it's worth it. I'll try to update sometime or another. Sorry, kids.

blah... mondays

Don't you hate it when you see a guy who's hopelessly in love with a girl and she either has no clue, wouldn't like him back anyway, or both? It's so depressing. I mean, if it was vice versa, it would still be just as depressing, but ... it's just sad. I'm really not in the mood to rant.
So, it's a Monday. Wooo. I really have nothing much to do (sad, I know) other than procrastinate like crazy before forcing myself to sit down and do my homework. I am still recovering from no sleep and I haven't been very energetic since. I ended up falling asleep at Austin's Saturday night from complete exhaustion. I even got home late because we both fell asleep. Luckily, my mom figured that was the reason and was alright with it. I am so ready for summer. No, wait... I am so ready for this FRIDAY! Austin's throwing his party and his band and Derek's band are playing. We need a good crowd, so please come and watch. It will be a great show, I promise! Anyway, I am still very ready for summer. No work, no worries, just sun and lots of water. All of my friends are coming back and I didn't even get to see most of them during Spring Break (*ahem*). That makes me more excited about their return. And I will get to do lots of swimming! Yey... sorta. I really don't want to swim at Bolton because it will kick my ass. I am seriously going to drown in that pool from too much swimming and Nathan is going to have to save me. At least he's well certified! I need to finish the year strong... I sure hope I can.

what was i looking at???

after

before

Okay, so this is kinda the 'Before and After' look. As you can tell, we weren't too ready to dress up when I first got to his house. We were actually eating Sonic cheese tater tots. Mmmm. Prom was a whole lot of fun! I got to meet so many new people and they were all really nice. The problem with their prom was - well, there were just TOO many white people. And they all danced like... white people. LOL. I finally got to my grandparents around 4:30 in the morning, and my parents AND grandparents were awake to greet me. Due to some weather issues, we left around 5:15 that morning and got home around 7 (giving not even 2 hours of sleep time). Then, Mom and I realized that I could still make that CPR recertification class at 8:30, so I did it. It was pretty easy and I was WAAAY too tired to even care. Even Thomas, who had to drive an hour and a half BOTH ways, got more sleep than I did. Phooey. I am most definitely making up some sleep time soon, but I just wanted to post these pics. Enjoy.

searching sunday

So, I had this huge blog (Friday) about everything that had happened this past week and how I feel akward about not talking to an old friend... but it had 'internal server errors', so the whole thing just got wiped out. And I was too lazy to even summarize it. Sorry, guys. Austin and his band played last night at his bassist's dad's party and I wasn't too comfortable because there were all these adults just staring at us. Paula (Austin's mom) and I were freaking out. I was ready to haul ass out of there, but the idiots did an encore and they went out and played 4 more songs. I thought I was going to DIE. They didn't even leave tips after the encore, either. What the hell were they thinking? Luckily, Austin and I had about an hour at his house to just chill afterwards. I was so close to falling asleep until Paula whipped out the fondu pot and made some chocolate to dip some strawberries in. I was awake after that! Those things were soooo good. I was just ready to eat the melted chocolate straight. Then, I woke up this morning and got ready to go to Austin's (again) so I can try to collect more bugs. We rode his trick bikes down to this creek and got a water beetle and another moth (the other one's head fell off when I tried to mount it - eek). Then Paula found this really cool iridescent beetle. I still need more bugs, but I am getting closer to having them all. Does ANYONE have an Audubon's Field Guide to Insects?? Or a really good site for identifying bugs?? I need one REALLY bad. I was going to go to Ledford band rehearsal, but halfway through catching bugs, I lost track of time, and Mom was freaking out because I hadn't caught any. I just want this stupid project to be done. This Friday is my LAST (*gasp*) prom and I am sure it will be fun. How could it NOT be with Thomas? At least I can think about it now, because by the end of the week, I will be so caught up in other things I won't realize it's right there.

I want you to know that
I miss you

different

Tell myself
On the ride home
Getting tired
Hating all I've known
Holding on
Like it's all I have
Count me out
When it's clear that I
Find it hard to say
And you
Find it hard to care

I wanted to see
Something that's different
Something you said would change in me
Wanted to be
Anything different
Everything you would change in me

Got this way
Upfront but never true
God I'm wrong
It's just the way I am
Crashing down
Any chance you hear
Caving in
Any chance that you
Could see inside of me
And I don't know what to say
It's fine
This isn't Hollywood
So fine
Getting in your way

I wanted to see
Something that's different
Something you said would change in me
Wanted to be
Anything different
Everything you would change in me

I'm taking a chance
This could be different
This could be all I'm waiting for
Taking a chance
This could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for

I wanted to see
Something that's different
Something you said would change in me
Wanted to be
Anything different
Everything you would change in me

Something that's different
Something that's different

silly saturday

And I thought FRIDAY night was fun... last night was even better! Austin reminded me that they were having band practice, so I knew I had to go over there since I missed them play the day before. I watched them for about 30-45 mins, then their microphones starting dying, so they had to stop practice. It was great from there. First, we all played basketball (3 on 3), then Austin jumps on my back and knocks me down. Of course, I get up and chase his ass into the woods, ready to beat his tail. Then, Cory rides his bike into the woods, about running us over and Ben does the same. Austin finally jumps on the bike with Ben and I run the opposite direction back to his house. Then, the ramp is taken out and Ben clears it fine, but Cory busts his ass the first time over and the skateboards were then ridden out. They found the HUGE box that the new dryer came in and these large cardboard poles were in there, and it was chaotic from then on. They were beating each other with it, throwing them, and poor Andrew gets INSIDE the box, just to get beaten with the poles even more. Then, someone comes up with the bright idea to go skateboard jousting. Now THAT was hilarious! Cory busted again and Johnny got a nice bump from a head-on collision with the hard end of the pole. Then they just mutilated the poles into shreds of brown paper after spearing and throwing them at each other. As cars drove by, I hated to imagine what they were thinking. I died laughing. I wasn't sure if this was what happened after every practice, but it would be entertaining to think if that did happen. We spent about 2 hours out there just goofing. Then, everyone FINALLY went home and I had some delicious dinner made by Austin's mom. Austin, Andrew, and I finally settled down and just chilled or goofed on the computer. It was a riotous but exhausting night. Needless to say, I had a stomachache by the end of it all. Today is my recovery day before another painful week of school. Ick.

yes! the weekend

Yesterday was great other than missing Austin's band play in Battle of the Bands. I really wish I could have been there because I would have been screaming my lungs out every time he had a guitar solo, right along with his mom. I got to see the video and they were AWESOME. It was the best they had ever done. I think they deserved first, but they placed third. What do you expect when these preppy chicks were the judges? And they said it was based on crowd reaction... They would have definitely won if that were the case. Then, Hannah showed up and I was really happy to see her. She didn't seem like she was having that good of a time and that made me sad. I just hate to see my friends unhappy. It bothers me because I always think that I can make a difference, but they never seem to emotionally budge when I attempt to make things better. I just hope it wasn't my fault that she was upset. Cheer up, Hanners. Then, I went to Austin's after dropping her off and we hung out. Cory (lead singer) and Ben (back up guitarist and singer) stopped by and Andrew (drummer) called like 5 BILLION times - ok, just 3. Then Johnny (bassist) was just left. Lame-o. I hit Cory in the head 3 times in a row with the fuzzy balls that Ally (the kitten) plays with. It was hilarious. Last night was a lot of fun. I apologized a billion times for not making it in time, but they started it early. A lot of people that I knew were there and they were all like "what are YOU doing here??". Yesterday was so much fun and I wouldn't mind doing that again. I can't wait til the party at Austin's house where a bunch of bands from his school will be playing. It's going to ROCK.

If I could get another chance
I'd put it in a ziploc bag
And keep it in my pocket

...

Suppose you were going to die tonight... what would you say?

Another week of school has commenced, which really sucks. Every minute I sit in class with my head rested in my palms and my eyelids feel heavy, I just wish that I was laying out in the sun on a summer day with no worries whatsoever. I just can't wait until summer... I want it here so I won't have that pressure on my back any longer. I am holding on and still doing well in school, hoping that I can graduate valedictorian. I am actually doing a whole lot better in AP Biology, better than I ever have. Still swimming, still riding, and somewhat happy. If I am actually happy right now, then the summer is bound to be fantastic. It's only Wednesday, but the week has flown by. I can't wait until Friday because I know it will be fun seeing Austin's band play. I have never seen his band play (in person), so it should be a good show. Well, that's about all for now folks...

sluggish saturday

Well, Spring Break is almost over and I hate to see it go. This week was all about staying up too late and sleeping in too late, as well. I spent practically EVERY night out of the house, which bugged the $h!t out of my mom, especially since we were the only two at the house (or in the country for that matter). She wanted to have "movie night" or what not, but when I stayed home and watched a movie, she didn't even come near the room. I felt really awful leaving her alone every night, but she never really seemed too interested in doing anything at all. I guess the best part about this week was when we found Austin a kitten. Out of the four squirming fuzzles, he instantly eyed the black, and only, girl. I had to whip out my veterinary skills to identify the sex, since the owners really could care less about that. The kitten was ironically quiet on the car ride home and barely moved. It just sat there, with its eyes wide open, trying to analyze the situation before getting any spontaneous ideas of curiousity. While Austin was in the grocery getting its food and other things, it fell asleep, laying its small head in my hands. It was one of those things that just melted your heart and you couldn't help but admire its sweet innocence. I believe that's the underlying reason behind a kitten's face and how no one can resist saying "awwwwww" to it. After a bunch of name changing, we settled with Ally (cat). The second day, it was up and wired one minute, and asleep the next. We had to keep a good eye on its bowl, because the dog would waddle its way in there and eat all its food. I guess getting a kitten is quite amusing, just watching it grow and seeing it naively wander its way through the first months of life. Then, I come home, pet my much matured cats, and remember when they were slipping out between the fence holes and scampering around. It gave me something else to think about aside from the chaotic lifestyle I am about to pick up again, a lifestyle called school. The kitten made me smile, but that wasn't the only thing that melted my heart this break.


My heart was caught in a landslide
And now it feels for you only...