too much water

Bolton was... not as hard as I thought it would be, but INHUMANELY cold. It took me an hour to stop shaking. It's unhealthy. I quit. Okay, I don't really, but I hate getting up so early. Summer means that you get up after lunch time and stroll around in your pjs all day. As for me, it seems to be waking up too early and strolling around in my wet bathing suit all day. Ick. At least Brookside swim practice wasn't as early this morning and it wasn't really that hard (no one tell coach Hench that!). I guess it's just to ease into the swim season. But I know as soon as Nathan comes, he's going to pick on me and a few others, just because we are a little faster. I thought you were supposed to be picked on when you're slow...
I just wish the water would warm up. In BOTH pools.
I wonder if the lake is this cold... hmmm.... *smiles*
Alexi is getting jetskis for the summer and we are going to have a good time with those! I love hanging out with her. We had our first laughfest for the summer last night when we whipped out the black light and raided everyone's bedrooms. We checked for drool and ummm *ahem* other stains when her mom snuck up on us. Since she had acryllic nails and two capped teeth, she was pretty scary in the black light. We screamed SO loud and laughed so hard. My head and stomach started to hurt after a while. I think Alexi's mom was laughing the hardest, especially since Alexi kept getting freaked out and couldn't find the switch for the light to turn off. It was hilarious.
And it's just the beginning of summer. Yay.

<(' '<) ^( ' ' )^ (>' ')> w00t. Kirby dance.

graduated but pissed

Ok, so I am graduated and happy about that, but I am SO pissed right now. My mom is STILL a control freak. I was so relieved when school let out so she would get off my case, but now she is FORCING me to swim at Bolton tomorrow at 6:30 in THE GODDAMNED MORNING!!!! I told her I would wait a week and adjust when I swam with Brookside, but she was like NO, you ARE going to Bolton. All I have to say is fuck her and I can't WAIT to go to college so I can be a WONDERFUL 7 hours away from her stupid ass. I am almost 18 years old and she is STILL telling me what to do. Well, fuck you, Mom. Mind you that Bolton is beyond my ability. She can suck a NUT. And she wonders why I am gone every night, well, here's the answer.
Today was my first day at work. Just being at the pool brought back memories and I just sat there, thinking about everything of last year. God, I hate thinking about it, but I love smiling over it at the same time. Maybe I miss you... but the pool makes it so much worse. Geez, I already don't know what to do. My mind is racing over something that isn't even there. Bleh.
Nathan comes back in a week and hopefully he can make things better in the swimming department. But, then again, he's just going to make it harder on me because he knows what I'm capable of more than I do.
This summer was supposed to be fun. :(

last graduation practice

So, our last graduation practice was today and I am sooo glad it's over with (even if we only had 2). Alexi is back and I plan on spending some time with her before swimming WSY and then giving swim lessons from 8-9. Gahh... I am going to be in that pool forever! I feel like I am getting out of shape REALLY bad, because when we did a 1000 warmup, I about died. I can barely keep my breaststroke form for a 50, and my butterfly is more of a butterflop. And let's not even talk about the backstroke.
I had an epiphany last night after struggling with a noncohesive subject that I really didn't care for. Calvin and Hobbes inspired my speech and I think I will be more than comfortable talking about it. It's very VERY short, but I hate public speaking, so everyone wins. Many people were relieved to hear it was short. I just want all of this to be over, especially the speech, because that's just more work I have to do. Valedictorian does have its downs... but not many. :D
Tomorrow's Friday. Wow.

double yey

I AM valedictorian, bitches. WHAT NOW?!? Oh YEAH!!
And I turned a cartwheel... in the middle of the mall. It made me happy.
Alexi's coming back tomorrow and I am ready for it! We are going to have some good times and be retarded, as usual.
The pool is opening back up and I popped in my old punk CD from last summer and the memories came back, clearer than ever. It's almost scary. I could look at any point at the pool and remember where something happened. It makes me smile and sigh all at the same time. The nostalgia's killing me.
I just had to brag there for a bit, just to let you guys know who were tuning in to the suspense. oOo...
I like hugs. A lot. :)

thank god it's monday...?

Today was the Senior Assembly and I believe I officially set the Snyder Medal as a family legacy (highest maintained GPA). That made me feel so much better, almost relieved, to get something Karl received. I guess it lessened the tension between us when it came to high school achievements, even though he's out and done with high school already. Maybe ever since I didn't make it into Governor's School, it has been my goal to be just as good as him or better. Of course, they did NOT announce valedictorian, and I was quite PISSED. I wanted to know! I want to know if I'm first, if I have to represent myself in front of everyone who attends our graduation. I also received some other awards, but it didn't really matter. All I knew was that my heart raced when the principal said, "And our valedictorian and salutatorian... cannot be announced because it's too close." Well, that's BULLSHIT. It's not close (the person who tallied up the GPAs told me - too bad that's ALL she told me)! I know I have said this a MILLION times, but I want this more than anything and all of my close friends know that this is all I have wanted for the past who knows how long. I want to be first, dammit. Screw trying to not sound selfish.
At least for the rest of the afternoon, I had something else to think about. Twas fun. I would hate to ever stay a night at Austin's, because we would just lay around and not do a damn thing - okay, just talk a WHOLE lot. I love being lazy (doesn't happen too much) and I need a lot more of it.
Oh yeah, today was the last day of school.
Summer... I surrender myself to you.

just a quote

"It is better to love and be hurt, than never love at all."

bleh?

ONE day of school left.

THREE days until I find out if I’m valedictorian or not.

EIGHT days until graduation.

<>A MILLION things running through my head.

So, I took my band exam today and it was super easy. Mr. Howell practically walked me through the difficult parts (transposing, melodic, harmonic, and natural minors). Then we talked about my future plans at Sewanee, which really was just him figuring out if I was going to keep pursuing music. Then as I hugged him goodbye, I felt a lump in my throat. I ran out to my car as my face became flushed and tears welled up. On the way back to town, I was sobbing. Not the regular, silent cry where a few tears stream down my cheeks, but the huge tears while bawling loudly. I couldn’t hold myself back. The man who started every foundation I ever had towards music, I was leaving behind. I remembered how he always put me in a situation to succeed. He never would make me do something he knew I wasn’t capable of and he helped expand my understanding of music. My view went from funny looking things on a page to expression of feelings. I didn’t read music anymore; I felt it. I am really going to miss him and he has been such a large part of my life.
Now it’s to the point where I have stopped saying, “I can’t wait to leave this place – I won’t miss anything” to noticing all the things I will miss. I hate crying in public, gosh, I really do. It’s so embarrassing.
Okay, I am DEFINITELY going to Warped Tour this summer. From the list on their web page, it is going to be an awesome day. I can’t wait!!! It’s going to be the best going-away event for me to remember. Damn, I’m super happy already and it’s 3 months away. I’m a true music nerd… what can I say?
Also, for once, I want the weekend to end. I wanna know if I’m valedictorian already!!! GOSH!!! It’s bugging me and I am freaking out.

I’m rambling, so I guess I should stop.

Wait, one last thing. Don’t you hate it when something happens and you don’t really realize it until afterwards? I hate awkward situations, and I think one happened today, but I didn’t realize it until I left. It was weird and I didn’t notice what on earth happened until I thought about it. Maybe I just think too much, but the other person might need to agree or disagree with me on this one. I… I don’t know what else to say about that.
Sorry for being vague, but I just needed to say that.
Oh yeah, I'm ungrounded now. Yippee.
Drew's graduation party tomorrow and Austin's band is playing. Yay.

almost there

I want summer to come and for school to end.

We had a sports banquet this evening and I got like a million kajillion awards that I didn't deserve.
... and I about busted my ass. I know, you've already heard it from half the school who were there. Just to let ya'll know, it was a stupid green bean (and I don't DO heels)!
Earlier was pretty good, too. I realized that I had to do my band exam, so Drew and I went to Panda Panda, then to his house so I could look off his music notes to make a program. I also got Sparky (the shark fetus) and a yearbook today. I like Sparky ... the yearbook just SUCKS. The only year I decide to buy one (I have been waiting to buy one my senior year), it is the absolute WORST. There is NO theme and ALL misspellings. I believe the one my freshman year was the best because it had that 'Lexington Album' theme to it and it was really professional looking. Just like Lexhipep, the Lexicon staff's work is embarassing to the students and the school. It makes us look sooo bad. And people wonder why other schools stereotype us? This is why! All of our supervisors and staff that publish things, reflecting our school, are no good. Even my best friend is in Lexicon, but I have to say that I usually never saw any of them doing ANYTHING until the last minute. This is such a disappointment and I will probably look at Sparky more than that yearbook.
I think I'm done ranting for now.
An old friend IMed me and that made me happy.
Austin, Ben, Cory, Andrew, and I stole a road barrel. It was hilarious and I need to clean my car out now...



If I had my way, I'd never get over you.

quick update

So, I have just popped on for a quick bit to update this thing. My last AP exam was today! Thank goodness! It was the AP Environmental Science exam, and for once, I felt like I knew what I was doing! Ironically, it was the only AP course I had taken LAST semester. How can something that isn't fresh on your mind come to you quicker than a course you had just taken? I don't quite get that, but it was relieving to not feel completely dumbfounded. I have been getting a lot of emails from my future teammates on Sewanee's swim team. I bet my mom would have let me on if she knew that they were trying to get acquainted with everyone. Luckily, she is picking up my brother in Raleigh. Thursday is our band concert at High Point University and I have a horseshow on Saturday. This week has and will be sooo hectic. Our Rotary Scholar (top ten in class) banquet was yesterday and I was the only one who was a 5 year scholar. I SWEAR someone else was, but I guess not. I felt kinda weird being the only person up there. Unfortunately, we don't figure out who is valedictorian and salutatorian until May 23rd. That's 5 days before graduation!!! That gives me absolutely no time to write my speech! I guess I could start writing now, just in case. I just want summer to come already. I'm sick of having to go here and there and well... having things to do. And Mom is making me doing this stupid after-graduation get together. I would rather have a few close friends to hang out, instead of a bunch of people. She is even making me invite a lot of people she KNOWS I don't get along with. It's not even my party anymore - it's hers. I just need a break. Well, that's about it for now, so until I have time to sneak on and update again...