Friday, November 25, 2005

why.

One of my old childhood friends died in a car crash yesterday afternoon.


I don't know what to say. It's so hard to feel anything when you can't believe it's real. The worst part is, the last time I saw him, he still had a young face with innocent eyes. He was just beginning to live and was so sweetly ignorant to the pains of the world. Now, he has added to that pain. All we can do is mourn over how someone with so much potential couldn't even show it. It always makes you wonder how they would have turned out, and if you could have seen them just a little longer before they were gone, would you? Would you have wanted to stay with him, even if you knew you would never see him again? Or would it hurt worse? There seems to be no mercy left in this world, stealing the lives from the young. He was one of the better examples of people his age, yet the same common mistake cost him his death. It makes you dread the moment any one of your friends gets into that car and leaves. Thinking about it makes me feel guilty everytime I complain about how horrible my life is going, because at least I have the chance to make up for it and continue on. He never got the chance. It's these things that never make sense and it's times like these that you are slapped in the face by reality. You realize that you aren't always invincible to the chances of life. Everything becomes painfully real. He's gone.
Someone compared him to a supernova... and I suppose it is accurate. When you look into a telescope, supernova's are the first thing that catches your eye. They never last long, so you can only appreciate the beauty of it while it lasts. He shined so bright, but burned out quickly. And even when it's gone, people can still see its aftermath in the night sky... that area still glows.
In our hearts, he will always glow.

Cherish life. It is too precious to take for granted.

R.I.P. William Nathanial Peeler (6/1/1989-11/24/2005)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

the town that you live in

I must say
It's a nice day
When the leaves start to turn
There is so much to learn
From the freeway
You're my friend
For the weekend
When the spring comes around
You can show me the town
That you live in

And tonight I walk through an empty street
With my shadow stretching in front of me
When my lonely thoughts meet my lonely feet
And the cold reminds me that I've chosen this life

I must say
It's a nice day
With the flowers in bloom
There is so much to view
From the freeway
And we're friends
For the weekend
And when the fall comes around
You can show me the town
That you live in

And tonight I walk through an empty street
With my shadow stretching in front of me
When my lonely thoughts meet my lonely feet
And the cold reminds me that I've chosen this life

So hang up the phone
Cause you're probably better alone..
.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

lost in the crowd

So....... tonight. At 7. The Brewery. In Raleigh, NC. Daphne Loves Derby is playing. And I won't be there. Fuck.


This makes me quite upset, considering the minute I was first introduced to their music, I have had a thirst for it almost every minute of the day. They have a new album out and the music on it is fucking incredible. It was then I realized that, at this moment in my life, I live for music. I can't go a day without it. It's what helps me cry, helps me laugh, and helps me concentrate (believe it or not). I can relate to almost every song I have and can express how I feel the most through lyrics. There is no better way to put it than singing it out to the entire world.
Granted, my voice sucks, but I still hum to myself alot. It's almost those moments where I feel like I am going to lose sanity where a song pops into my head, and I am okay again. My arms move to the rhythm of the song in my head (or in the water) when I swim, my feet move to the bass thumping through my skull when I'm at my desk, and my soul sways with the sweet melodies of song. I can't imagine a day without hearing any type of music. There is not a day that exists.

Needless to say, I live, breathe, love music.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

change of seasons

I love fall...




And I would do ANYTHING to see DLD this Wed. Hannah, you are so fucking lucky.

Friday, November 04, 2005

stuck in america

We had a swim meet today. We have one tomorrow morning. Son of a bitch.




I'm tired. And feel empty and invisible again. You only smile in one direction and it's not towards me. I think I should just give up. Because there really is nothing to hope for.

Maybe this will all go away.
I want to cry over nothing. Because you're nothing.






But I am so tired of days that feel like the night...

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

enough

If I could transfer to NCSU tomorrow, I would do it, no questions asked.