slowdown.

Nowadays, I just feel like everyone is in such a rush to grow up and go on with their lives.
I mean, I wouldn't mind eventually growing up, fending for myself, having my own place, etc., but not at the moment.

I just see a lot of people close to my age now getting married, having kids... all that good stuff. Good? No.
I don't understand why people can't cherish the youth they have. It's the best days of your life. Sure, you aren't 5 anymore, but that doesn't mean you have to push into all aspects of maturity. This is coming from someone who isn't ridiculously immature, either. I just don't get why people want to do things like that. It terminates a lot of other options in your life.
Okay, I'm done with that rant.

School has been better for me. I have done decently well in my classes, and for that, it's been a relief at the moment. I seriously can't even come close to not doing awesome this semester. I just can't mess that up.
Swim season has started up and is pretty hardcore right now. We are swimming 6 days a week and lifting at least twice a week (I lifted 3 times last week). It is killing me at the moment, but I know that it will eventually all come together.
Except for the whole grinding/popping of the shoulder. But yeah. That's normal.

I have recently stumbled across a wonderful little thing that makes me happy... a caterpillar and his name is Spot. He eats and sleeps a lot, and is super cute. He's pretty much my pride and joy. We were supposed to let him go this weekend, but we couldn't do it. I would love to watch him pupate into an imperial moth!! That would be soooo cool!
Yeah, I'm pretty much a dork.

This past weekend was also great for me. I had a lot of fun, think I got another person to attend Sewanee next year (yey!), and just took care of things well. Things are looking pretty good for me...

and i can't get to you...

Honestly, I have felt like I have needed to write a blog for a while now, but I don't know where to begin.
I guess I could start off with how much I missed my lovelies (Lexi and Lindsay) this past weekend. It was pretty rough for me here at that time knowing that they were spending the entire time on the lake, having a blast, while I was stuck here, kicked out of my room. I am not trying to sound selfish, but this last weekend wasn't its greatest. My roommate's boyfriend came over, so I left them for privacy. I just felt a spark of jealously when he held her hand and did cute little things to her. I felt completely useless and unwanted. That was pretty much the jist of it all.
Luckily, Thy pulled through and we did a few things together. Her and I have spent a lot of time together, and it's a shame that she's a senior this year. I am really going to miss her.
We went to the Cross and to catch some bugs, and I caught a luna moth! It was incredible to hold something so beautiful in my hands... it was a pale green with a delicate, long tail. I couldn't stop looking at it's large antennae and it's chalky white body. I couldn't help but feel horrible when we placed the "killing jar" over it to gas it unconcious and eventually kill it. Even though the first luna moth I tried to catch (for my brother's bug project) eluded me and I felt some compensation in this catch, I still felt awful for killing something so rare and beautiful.
At least the professor was very impressed... the things I do for science.

Yeah, and that's the first of it.
I am not doing perfect in school, but better, I feel. That is something that is making me feel a little better about all of that is going on. Jo and I get along great for the most part, swimming has just started up, and I decided to keep up orchestra this year. I haven't been that overwhelmed yet, so we'll see how it goes. Unfortunately, there is a lot going on this weekend. Pink panties is on Friday night, Jo wants me to go caving with her Saturday, Ben invited me over for his Ninja Turtle party on Saturday night, then I'm going rafting with the team on Sunday. Along with all of these social events, I also have a History paper due next week, an oral presentation for Renaissance Lit due next week, and my Latin workbook due Monday. Arggggh. Talk about crunch time. I should actually be working instead of writing this damn blog, but I need to vent.

Also, the whole love life thingamabob.
I am slightly discouraged about all that has gone on. Though there are many that show interest (and much more than that), and I terrified of jumping into anything. I am so tired of getting hurt that it has become instinct to become uninvolved with anyone. I just think I should step back for a second and think about what I am doing, and why I am here.
I am here to learn, experience, and succeed. Rarely does much of that come from guys.
Once again, I am ready to give up in that department. I might be better off alone.


I can't even think of anything else to say due to the lack of sleep I have been getting lately, so sadly, this is all I can produce out of my tiny mind for tonight.

PS - Matt, if you read this... I MISS YOUUUUUUUU!!!