Thursday, December 26, 2013

Without you

4 years.

Almost 4 years of my life.

Almost 4 years of my life, it's been you.




We were like the ocean.
On the surface, we were calm. On the surface, we were smooth.
But underneath, there was a chaotic and consistent current that pulled me under. Its force was subtle but powerful. The sand was sharp and abrasive. The salt was painful in my mouth.

Our love was chaotic, yet consistent.
Your resentment was subtle, but powerful.
Your words; sharp and abrasive.
My tears - salty, and painful, across my mouth.



Now, I spend my days not thinking about the ocean. But all I do is dream about it.
Its bright glare against my eyes when the sun hits it. The sound of its crashing waves.
I wake up, morning after morning, haunted by its taste and the echoing sound of screeching seabirds.

But I do not want to go to it. I do not want to smell it or taste it. I do not want to hear it.





One day, I will be able to dig my toes into the sand again, and embrace the ocean for all of its beauty.
And I will know we are better for it.