Monday, May 12, 2014


Here's to day one of never giving a f*** about you again.

Feels awesome.

Monday, January 27, 2014


But if you're gonna go

Take the ones you gave to me

All the way to Mexico


Thursday, December 26, 2013

Without you

4 years.

Almost 4 years of my life.

Almost 4 years of my life, it's been you.

We were like the ocean.
On the surface, we were calm. On the surface, we were smooth.
But underneath, there was a chaotic and consistent current that pulled me under. Its force was subtle but powerful. The sand was sharp and abrasive. The salt was painful in my mouth.

Our love was chaotic, yet consistent.
Your resentment was subtle, but powerful.
Your words; sharp and abrasive.
My tears - salty, and painful, across my mouth.

Now, I spend my days not thinking about the ocean. But all I do is dream about it.
Its bright glare against my eyes when the sun hits it. The sound of its crashing waves.
I wake up, morning after morning, haunted by its taste and the echoing sound of screeching seabirds.

But I do not want to go to it. I do not want to smell it or taste it. I do not want to hear it.

One day, I will be able to dig my toes into the sand again, and embrace the ocean for all of its beauty.
And I will know we are better for it.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

number one

"But the odds are,
We'll be better off."
- Mutemath

... when am I going to be number one? So tired of being number two in someone's life. Maybe that's all there is out there anymore.
Do I sound selfish? They say put yourself first, but at the same time, I believe that true love is at LEAST putting your significant other at an equal standing.

I just want to be a part of the plan, instead constantly being left behind in your hopes and dreams. Is that too much to ask?

Monday, November 21, 2011

in remembrance

It's that time of year ... where you are thankful for many things.

Six years ago, on Thanksgiving Day, a wonderful boy was taken from us. It's because of him I am every day thankful for my days here on Earth.

RIP Nathan Peeler.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

can't wait to see you, but i will...

I am back from Hawaii... which was an interesting experience, to say the least. While all of my friends told me to constantly shut up about 'living in paradise', I do have to say it made me appreciate home a lot more. I definitely missed the southern hospitality of North Carolina, and since the Japanese culture runs rampant in Hawaii, I will have to say that people treat you MUCH differently there. Very rude, for the most part. Kind of disappointing for a place so beautiful. And, as assumed, the tourists infested the place to the point that some areas were tainted and unenjoyable.
However, it wasn't all bad. I made a good friend there and had some unforgettable experiences. A once in a lifetime moment, for sure.

But, I am back from all of my travels (for now - keep reading!) and am in my OWN bed, back in my home state, with my dog curled up on the floor in my room. Things couldn't be much better - until the boy comes home. I am actually flying out to Wyoming in late August to visit him and we are road tripping across the country together! I cannot wait to see him in person again.

With our case, unlike most, distance made the heart grow fonder. When I left for Hawaii, I got word from all of our mutual friends about how much he talked about missing me. It made my heart sink thinking about how it would be the 3 longest months until just the possibility of seeing him again. However, with the help of my dad's generosity, my boy was able to fly out to Hawaii for a week to see me. It was one of the most amazing weeks of my life. It was obvious how much he missed me, as he finally clarified all of the things I was uncertain about in our relationship.
He wanted things to work out, even after plainly stating before that he wasn't a 'long distance kind of guy' earlier. So, for the past 2 months, we've talked on the phone at least twice a day, and even though I don't get to see his smile and laugh, I still get to hear about his day and say goodnight. That's about the best I could ask for.

As for now, I am waiting for his return and figuring out what kind of job I want to dive back into in this city while still getting my Masters. I am thinking working for a doctor's office part-time again... who doesn't love wearing scrubs??

Anyhow, I should get off of here and start looking for office positions. Hope all is well on the other side. Ciao!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

without you

Some people want diamond rings
Some people want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you.