el survey

There's too much to write, so I guess I will just do a survey.

SECTiON 1 [YOU]

+call me: Julia
+your gender: girl
+age: 17
+hair color: dirty blonde
+eye color: brown (ick)
+where were you born? Lexington, NC

SECTiON 2 [ HAVE YOU EVER ]

+ fallen off the bed? actually, no
+ fallen for a relative? what...??
+ had plastic surgery? no
+ broke someone’s heart? yeah
+ had your heart broken? yeah
+ had a dream come true? yeah, i guess...
+ done something you regret? oh yeah
+ cheated on a test? hasn't everyone?

SECTiON 3 [ CURRENTLY]

+ wearing – Sewanee t-shirt and purple polka-dot pj pants (i heart alliteration)
+ listening to – Megalomaniac by Incubus
+ chewing – nothing
+ feeling- tired, indecisive, and sad
+ reading- el survey
+ located – computer room (side porch)
+ had a conversation with someone you normally don’t talk to? yeah
+ watching – computer screen

SECTiON 4 [ DO YOU... ]

+ Do you like someone? yeah
+ have any piercings? 1 in my ears
+ believe in Santa Clause? tehehe

SECTiON 5 [ FRiENDS ]

+ who is your best friend? Tia and Alexi
+ who is the loudest? probably Hannah, but she's cool like that
+ who is the shyest? ermm... that one I'm not sure about
+ who smiles the most? Alexi, probably
+ who have you known the longest? Tia
+ who have you known the shortest? Ashley Justice
+ do you hang out with the opposite sex? more than I do the same
+ do you consider yourself POPULAR? nahh
+ do you trust your friends? yep
+ are you a good friend? you're asking the wrong person
+ can you keep a secret? i can keep my mouth shut, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

SECTiON 6 [ THE LAST PERSON YOU...]

+ hugged ? Austin
+ kissed? "
+ talked to on the phone: Austin
+ talked to online? Tyler
+ yelled at? probably an idiot driver on the road... douchebags
+ fell in love with? [ ]

SECTiON 7 [ PERSONAL ]

+ What do you want to be when you grow up? Veterinarian
+ What was the worst day of your life? everyday
+ What is your most embarrassing story? ummmmmmm
+ What has been the best day of your life? the last day of the week I got accepted to Sewanee, won both my events at Conference, found out I was first in my class, and saw I was seeded 5th in the state in 100 breast
+ What do you think about before you go to bed? everything, which is why I don't sleep very well

<>SECTiON 8 [ FAVORITE . . .]

+ Movie: Gone in 60 Seconds
+ Song: you can't only have ONE
+ Store: probably dEliA*s or Alloy
+ Relative: they're all awesome
+ Sport: swimming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+ Vacation Spot: virgin islands
+ Ice Cream Flavor: god, with ben and jerry's, you can't have just one...
+ Fruit: cantelope
+ Candy: hmmm... crunch bars :)
+ Holiday: christmas!
+ Day of the Week: saturday
+ Color: blue
+ Magazine: ??


SECTiON 9 [ DO YOU . . .]

+ Like to give hugs? yeah
+ Like to walk in the rain? yes
+ Sleep with or without clothes on? with
+ Prefer black or blue pens? blue
+ Dress up on Halloween? mommy says I'm too old
+ Have a job? this summer!
+ like to travel? usually with Lexi
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side
+ Think you're attractive? no
+ Want to marry? eventually, if the right one comes along
+ Have stuffed animals? yes!!
+ Go on vacation? yes

[ WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT . . .]

+ Abortion: pro-choice... and don't give me shit about it
+ Summer: yay and nay all at once
+ Tattoos: needles... EEK!!!!!!
+ Piercing: ears
+ Drinking: if you can hold it, then whatever

SECTiON 11 [ THIS OR THAT]

+ Pierced nose or tongue? ick
+ serious or funny? funny
+ Simple or Complicated? simple
+ MTV or BET? MTV
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? gay...
+ Sugar or salt? sugar
+ Chocolate or flowers? chocolate
+ color or Black-and-white photos? they both hold memories, right?
+ Sunrise or sunset? sunset
+ M&M's or Skittles? m&m's
+ Rap or Rock? rock
+ Stay up late or sleep in? both, but sleeping in definitely
+ TV or radio? radio
+ Hot or cold? hot
+ Sun or moon? moon
+ Diamond or Ruby? diamonds are a girl's best friend!
+ Left or Right? left
+ Kids or no kids? kids
+ Cat or dog? KITTY
+ Mustard or ketchup? ketchup
+ Newspaper or magazine? both, because the paper has the comics
+ Rain or snow? shnow
+ A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? lifetime of friendship
+ Happy or sad? happy
+ Corduroy or plaid? cordouroy
+ Sneakers or sandals? both
+ McDonald's or Burger King? *sigh*... mcdonald's
+ Mexican or Italian food? italian
+ Lights on or off? on
+ Candy or soda? soda
+ A house in the woods or the city? woods
+ Pepsi or Coke? coke

melancholy monday

This morning, I woke up and was "wow"ed. It has been since August that I woke up the next morning, feeling delirious from the pure happiness of much wanted affection. That feeling that maybe, just maybe, something you have isn't just infatuation to fill the void another one left. It's that feeling that makes you want to say those three words, but afraid you will open your already shredded heart to another destroyer. I believe I was thinking everything was just too perfect, and I was right. After having one of those "mother - daughter" talks, I was informed that maybe I CAN'T be with someone who makes me happy, who makes me laugh. I figure no one would even notice, but my own guilt tore me up inside, realizing that I am seen as a manipulator to the eyes of the world. Nothing can ever be perfect, nothing can ever be alright for once. I should just wait around for college and hope that there is someone who pities me enough to care.

Songs of the day are becoming the 'big thing', so I guess there is one that can explain this entry:
"All That I've Got" by the Used

have you ever...

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't? or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own....when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. * What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? *What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? *What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?* People live, but people die.
And I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow, you would be in my heart!!! Would I be in yours? You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life, look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you if you consider them a friend as well. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. Someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will. I LOVE YOU!!!

I know this is commonly seen, but many of us can relate to those questions and statements. I just want to thank all my friends for being there and I will never, ever forget ya'll.

wicked weekend

The NFG concert ROCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEDDDD!!!! We made our way to the front during Reggie and the Full Effects (who also kicked ass, but was "so small") and stayed there the rest of the show. We slapped hands with the lead guitarist (I grabbed his ass, YES!) and scored a pick off of them. I had a little help accomplishing 2/3 of those things, but it still happened. It was so hot and tiring by the end of the show, but it was so worth it. I ended up getting home around 2 after about passing out at Austin's when I dropped him off. The one bad thing about it was that Ian Tsu's (one of the top 50 guitarists in the WORLD) autograph rubbed off my cuff from Warped Tour. I was SO PISSED!!! Looks like I am going to have to get his autograph at this year's Warped Tour (oh, darn *snaps fingers*). Yesterday was the Fish Fry for Ledford and I spent hours on end doing almost NOTHING before playing. First, I saw my cuzzie (I wuv you Sarah!) and we left right after I got there and went and got a drink. Then Drew, Will, and David and his friend showed up. I sat with Lauren and them when we watched the Winter Guard. Then we went out to the parking lot and played tennis (they hit a few cars - hahaha). My brudder (Drew) and I sat in my car and argued whether we should leave and eat or eat at the Fish Fry. We ended up staying and just piddling around and watching beasty Percussion Ensembles before we played. Right after that, I hauled ass to Anna G's for her birthday party. After encountering assholes leaning on the horn behind me (AHEM!), I showed up right when everyone was leaving. Just my luck, but I still had fun. I finally headed home, still exhausted from Friday night, and fell asleep around midnight after making a few calls. Today's schedule is looking a little less hectic. We are supposed to eat at Teresa's around 1, then I am washing cars with my brudder, then to Austin's for the rest of the afternoon. This weekend has turned out pretty nice...


and it's 60 degrees, as opposed to the 35 on Thursday. Lame ass town.

snowing on st. patty's

So, today started out pretty good, especially since we had a 2 hour delay then cancellation of school. I took my time (but STILL was faster than a regular school morning) and felt pretty good after solid 9 hours of sleep. Then I spent most of my day and someone's house just hanging out. It was quite fun and time whipped by. I felt so carefree and, for once, light on my toes. Then I started thinking about the future and how it could ruin my every bit of happiness. Just thinking about it turned my smile and I dwelled upon it, making my and my friend's thoughts wander into dark, depressing areas. He had such a simple lifestyle and now I have made it complicated. He gave me chills of happiness and now all I have given him is chills of fear. I am so sorry. I will screw it up, break his heart (it's inevitable), and just make things worse. Fate turns everything into a crappy world. I don't want another month to pass. Time ticks by painfully as I cry to let out my fear of what I know will happen. I do have a say in this, but few believe I can stand against it. I hate the feeling of infatuation, because it only drags you into worse feelings. It's like being drunk - first you feel like you are floating, then you feel REALLY shitty afterwards. Thinking of the future AND past hurt and there is nothing left to think about. NFG Concert is tomorrow and Austin and I are bound to have a good time. He won't be so lonely this time. :)

faded memory

Wow, I just noticed this picture on Anna's webshot site and HAD to put it on here. Look at poor Nathan on the bottom!! Hehe. Everyone looks squished and I am making a ridiculous face (I wonder who's sweatshirt I'm wearing?). From top: Me, Anna, Katie, K-Dawg, and Nathan. I really do miss the summer. *Le sigh*

tumultuous tuesday

Okay, this is seriously the third time I have tried to post a new blog, but I have been interrupted by Mom and stupid ass lock-ups. Friday with Goldmember, Saturday with Hannah and Shoto's, and watching the Sunday night stars appear made this weekend pretty good. Contest is this Thursday, and I am REALLY hoping for a Superior. I know Mr. Howell wants it really bad, but the band sounded physically and mentally tired of the music. I am SO sick of those pieces, especially (D)His Honor. I don't know how this weekend will turn out, but I know Friday will include some more star watching. This morning was ridiculously stormy and windy (blew my damn umbrella inside out TWICE), but it cleared up by afternoon, even though it was still really windy. I can't understand how Monday could be sunny and 70 degrees, then the next day wet and cold. That's Lexington for you. I stumbled across a blog that talked about how pathetic Lexington was and I totally agreed with his every word. Thank goodness he doesn't even go to a school in Lexington, anymore. He deserved to go elsewhere. *News Flash* Julia IS going to prom! I will have to leave school early for it, but hey, it will rock. I am going with Thomas ALLLL the way in Madisonville, TN and I am ready to raise hell (you know what I mean). Yey. What's better than pissing people off while in a dress and heels? Hehe. That's about it for now, so I am turning in for the night. G'night ya'll.

almost friday...

I am SO glad it's almost Friday. At least I know that I will have something to do Friday night (tehehe). Wow, the weekend of March 19th is going to be SO hectic. The NFG concert is March 18th, then the Ledford Band's Fish Fry is going to be the next day and my director said I HAD to stay the entire time (2-8pm). That's a HUGE bummer, since Anna's bday party starts at 6 that evening. Man... and if things couldn't get worse, it's the day of the first horseshow of the season. That's really hard to believe, especially since I just remember wrapping up the season (and winning it, too!). My little brother got contacts yesterday, which makes me really mad. I need an eye appointment before I go off to college and most likely will have to get them, too. Last time, Alan and I had almost perfect vision, but I don't know what happened. All I have to say is I am DEFINITELY getting green contacts if I get them!
I am already ready for Spring Break. The first 9 weeks are almost over, so I am not sure about my access to the internet within the next few weeks. *crosses fingers and hopes to retain rank*

...you stepped up to change things, now it's up to you to save what's left.

last wonderful guy

You needed to still be friends
Needed me to
Call you if I ever couldn’t keep it all together
You’d comfort me
Tell me but forever
And the promises I never should have believed in
Here’s what I’m thinking

It won’t be the first
Heart that you break
It won’t be the last
Wonderful guy
The one that you wrecked
Won’t take you back
If you were the last wonderful guy in the world

It’s over now
And I’ve gone without
Cuz you’re everybody else’s guy
It seems to me
You’ll always be
Everyone else’s guy


Yeah, so I changed some words, but you get what I'm saying.