crap x2

Okay... so I officially don't want to leave home.
There are so many reasons why I shouldn't go.

I wish I could list them, but they're mostly names....

Summer school sucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksssss.



How can I live for 6 weeks away from the people I have been the closest to for the majority of my life?? Argggh, it's just not fair.
I guess I can only know that I tried my hardest not to, but I failed. Damnit.


I just don't know what to do with myself right now.
I have also realized that most of my latest blogs have been lacking in words and thoughts. Sorry... I just don't even know what to say. There is just so much to write, yet I can't even find the words to go along with the thoughts swirling through my head. I am also afraid to say alot of things on my mind. My feelings, my infatuations, my sorrow, my happiness... all of it. It's just too much.
I just am glad that people don't always know what I am thinking. I can be so doubtful of things sometimes. They will say something and some negative thought against their statement will pop into my head. Sometimes it is an argument, a retort, even a joke. It is slightly depressing, yet it is how I think. Unfortunately, it is only to guard myself from any hopes of a better life. I always feel there is no way for things to eventually come together for me.
But I want it so bad.



2 days until my better half is here. Thank goodness.