Wednesday, December 01, 2004

life makes no sense

Well, I tried to post my thoughts yesterday, but the site was being stupid so that didn't end up happening. At this moment, I am stuck between two forces that pull strongly at my heart. Two people, one place, and one activity I am passionate about. The 26th WAS a day I was looking forward to, but now I don't want it to come. Alexi is coming back into town the 26th and so is another good friend of mine. Caron, Alexi's mom, called on Tuesday inviting me to New York with the family - leaving the 26th. She said we would only be gone a few days, but a few days would result in returning dangerously close to the county swim meet, which is something I expect to kick some major ass in. The last time I went with Alexi and her family somewhere on a trip, it ROCKED! I would love to go with them, but that means sacrificing swim practices and time with my other friend. I absolutely can NOT miss this meet - I would be letting my team down. I know we would return in time for it, but we would be DRIVING, so that would bog me down alot. I don't know what to do... I don't know if Alexi will even be here after the trip. If it wasn't for this swim meet, I would be packing my bags... but that makes all the difference. I just HATE making decisions. Right now, I am leaning towards staying here, but I feel really guilty just bumming out on Lexi like this. I am not sure about anything right now.
All-County Band was fun, especially skipping a day of school for it. Too bad missing a day takes its toll... ugh. Make-up work, here I come.



Everything is turning grey
But I won't hold my breath today
Cause I'm not scared and to tell the truth
I just don't care
Are you looking for an answer
When you still don't know the question

It's like lighting candles in the rain
Sometimes life can be a pain
But don't give up without a fight

Sometimes when you feel afraid
Don't give up and run away
Cause two wrongs don't make a right
What's the point in crying
When you've done nothing wrong
It was right there all along

The world's nothing but a lie
And everyone is going to die
But what can I say
Just help me make it through the day
You don't need a destination
Just to go somewhere in life

It's like throwing feathers at the wind
They come right back to you again
So why not give it one more try

Just cause things aren't what they seem
It doesn't mean you shouldn't dream
Just don't get your hopes too high
Cause when things don't turn out right
Your world comes crashing down

-- The Ataris

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